


Green-Eyed Monster

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Keeps a Journal to Record his Feelings, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Crack, Friendship, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1532729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS FOR CA2 IN SUMMARY</p><p>The Winter Soldier has joined the team and is slowly recovering, but he goes into a jealous rage whenever he sees that Steve is close friends with Tony, Sam, or Natasha. Past Steve/Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green-Eyed Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Зеленоглазый монстр](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2030160) by [Heidel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heidel/pseuds/Heidel)



> For this prompt at avengerkink:   
> Before and during CA1, Bucky and Steve were lovers. Before CA2, Steve's best friend was Tony. Now, Tony's still Steve's best friend, but Sam and Natasha are too, so Steve spends equal amount of times with them all. This makes Tony jealous of Sam. The Winter Soldier, who isn't entirely recovered but keeps having flashbacks of sleeping with Steve, has been watching and is jealous of Natasha, Sam, and Tony. Sam and Steve are oblivious. Natasha's not oblivious but is jealous of nobody and just sits back and enjoy all the bromance and romance going around.

**Journal Log Oct 10**

Objectives:

1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target Steve Rogers. I know him.  
3) Keep a journal of my feelings in order to appease SHIELD psychologist who claims that it will assist in my return to ‘normal.’

Status:

-Have not killed anyone yet. Considered it frequently.  
-Rogers appears personally invested in my recovery. Spent many hours sitting with me telling me stories. Apparently, I once knew how to have fun ‘like nobody’s business.’  
-Journals appear to be a stupid waste of time.

 

**Journal Log Oct 14**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Meet the “team.”

Obstacles:  
1) Met the team, which currently consists of Steve, Stark, Wilson, and Romanov. I discern that Stark and Wilson are trying to be nice. But they talk too much. They are very noisy, particularly Stark. They ask stupid questions about things I don’t understand. They are friends with Steve. They know him and remember him better than I do.  
2) The team talks to Steve more than necessary. This interferes with Objective 1.

Status:  
-Didn’t kill anyone. Even the noisy ones.

 

**Journal Log Oct 15**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Instill trust in others so that they are less frightened of me. 

Obstacles:  
1) Ordinary conversation refers to things I do not know or remember.   
2) I do not like the people being nice to me. They can tell there is something wrong with me, and they don’t hide it well. They offer opportunities to do ‘fun’ activities. I do not enjoy any of them.  
3) Steve appears to laugh a great deal with his friends. He does not laugh often with me. Sometimes Tony hugs him and Steve lets him!

Status:  
-Spent more time with Steve. He showed me how to use the Internet.  
-Went bowling. Threw the ball hard and sideways and took out every pinsetter in the alley. Pretended it was an accident. Nobody believed me.  
-Agent Romanov says that she believes that I am making progress. I do not believe that she is the type to say something to make me feel better. She does not try to be nice to me. She frequently reminds me that she will kill me if necessary, which enhances my impression of her integrity. Conclusion: Credible evidence of improvement.

 

**Journal Log Oct 17**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Use the Internet to read about what I’ve missed. 

Obstacles:  
-Steve spends time with Sam talking to him alone. Sam appears to specialize in post-mission talking and being comforting when people are sad. I think that they are talking about me. I don’t like it. I have seen Sam put his hand on Steve's shoulder!!!  
-Tony will not shut up about anything. He is always insisting on going out to try new restaurants. It has been a very long time since I got to choose what I eat, and I just want a grilled cheese sandwich dammit! And Tony always tries to sit next to Steve.  
-Natasha is very pretty and very competent in battle. She is just Steve’s type. This makes me angry for some reason.   
-The Internet has many distractions. Did not find out much about recent history or popular culture. Did find a wide variety of pornographic material.

Status:  
-Didn’t kill anyone.  
-Hardly got to talk to Steve at all.  
-Had several dreams (possibly memories) about Steve. Dreams may or may not have been inspired by materials found on the Internet.

 

**Journal Log Oct 19**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Use the Internet for something other than porn.

Obstacles:  
-Tony is just like Howard, only worse. He is rich and brave and people think that he is charming for some reason. He went into battle today as Iron Man and fought by Steve’s side. I was deemed not ready to assist in battle.   
-Sam was in the battle too. He can fly. He flies! Who the hell can compete with that?? Plus he and Steve seem to have things “in common.” Sam is stupid.  
-Natasha killed lots of evil robots too. Steve complimented her. The two of them seem very chummy!! Sometimes she whispers something in his ear and then Steve looks at me. I want to know what they are talking about!  
-They went out for dinner after the battle. They invited me but I did not go. Instead I punched holes in the wall.

Status:  
-I hate Steve’s friends.  
-Found something other than porn on the Internet. Animals playing musical instruments. Still not history or culture exactly, but it’s not porn. It counts.  
-Still had sex dreams about Steve.

 

**Journal Log Oct 22**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Observe team for potential weaknesses or negative characteristics that Steve has not noticed.

Findings:  
-Tony is an obnoxious egomaniac. And Steve doesn’t even like science either, he just pretends to like it to make Tony happy. Why would he do that!?!?  
-Natasha scares me sometimes. Steve is too nice for her! Also, it appears that by modern beauty standards, she is much more attractive than I am.  
-Sam has a savior complex. It’s a very unappealing flaw. Unfortunately, Steve does too, so it can’t be used to turn Steve against him.  
-Agent Coulson, like all the others, appears to be in love with Steve. He has many pictures of Steve at his home, apparently, since he is a fan. This appears to make Steve uncomfortable, and thus Agent Coulson seems a far lesser threat than the others.  
-Agent Coulson appears not to like Tony Stark. I like Agent Coulson.  
-Tony appears very jealous that Sam is so close to Steve. It is clear now that he sits next to Steve so often so that Sam cannot monopolize him. While it is appropriate for Stark to see Wilson as a threat, it is an outrage that Tony thinks that Steve is his in the first place.

Status:  
-Remembered having sex with Steve in the Alps. We were in a tent and trying hard to be quiet. Told Steve about it. Steve seemed happy I remembered. Then I told him I used the memory to calm down after a nightmare about being cut into again by HYDRA medical. Then he looked sad so I walked away and told him to leave me alone. Then he went to talk to SAM!!!!

I hate Sam.

 

**Journal Log Oct 28**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Show the team that I am battle-worthy.

Obstacles:  
-Sparred with Steve in the practice room. We threw each other around the room. The others seemed frightened by it. Natasha informed me after that the others simply aren’t used to seeing Steve thrown across a room. But we were sparring! I was showing that I could be trusted in battle! I was doing it for Steve!!!!!  
-Got turned on while Steve was pinning me to the ground. Pretended not to.

Status:  
-After we sparred, Sam and Tony both did a simulated fight with Steve, with Sam and Tony wearing their fancy shiny suits. My arm is shiny too! Also, both of them with Steve at once??!!? WHY?!?  
-I overheard Natasha trying to tell Steve to go out with someone named Lillian. I do not know who Lillian is, but I hate her.  
-Read about the music of the 1980s on the Internet. Did not care. Watched a video of a baby riding a dog like a horse. This was a better use of my time.  
-Watched porn also. Apparently, there is Captain America porn. They use a lookalike, so it was not Steve in the video, which is probably the only reason I was able to complete Objective 1.

 

**Journal Log Oct 31**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Fix computer. 

Obstacles:   
-Apparently, pornographic sites can make your computer stop working.  
-Tony Stark is the best available person for fixing a computer. He now knows what porn I was watching. I hate Tony.  
-Children keep ringing the doorbell and demanding candy. This makes it hard to talk to Steve about the porn I found.

Status:  
-Tony and Steve were arguing about which Halloween costume to make Steve wear today, and Natasha told me that it was cute the way that Steve’s two best friends argue over him. I refrained from killing her or anyone else, even though I wanted to. Instead, I informed her that neither of those two shitheads are Steve’s best friend. She said, “Don’t worry, they’re just his platonic friends,” then she smirked at me. I hate Natasha.  
It’s still good news, though.  
-Steve refused to wear either costume. Natasha wore a werewolf costume, Sam wore a Robin Hood costume, and Tony wore a “retro” robot costume, whatever that means. Stupid Tony with his stupid irony. Agent Coulson didn’t wear a costume; Natasha said that in the past he had always dressed as a Howling Commando but didn’t think it would be appropriate with me and Steve around.  
-I didn’t wear a costume either. Fuck costumes. 

 

**Journal Log Nov 7**

Objectives:  
1) Don’t kill anyone.  
2) Engage with primary target.  
3) Kiss him.

Obstacles:  
-Sam and Tony and Natasha are still constantly hanging around. On closer observation, however, a more objective analysis reveals that Agent Romanov was likely correct in her assessment: Sam and Tony are merely friends with Steve and do not pose a significant threat, except of course for the fact they are constantly THERE and TALKING TO STEVE when Steve should be talking to me.  
-I was going to kiss Steve but then I stopped. Then Steve kissed me. At that point, I remembered several similar incidents, perhaps hundreds of memories, all at once. I pushed Steve into the wall and ran away. Outside the city, I stopped and stole a phone and called him to tell him sorry. Agent Coulson and Natasha picked me up and brought me home.

Status:  
-Pissed off.  
-Still, I realize that I haven’t seriously considered killing someone (other than momentarily) for several days. Also, I was angry and wanted to throw a truck when I ran away but didn’t do so for fear of hurting civilian bystanders. This is significant progress.  
Of course, it also occurs to me that there was probably a time when I always naturally cared about hurting bystanders. As in every single day, all day, I wouldn’t have wanted to do anything that could have hurt innocent people. This just reminds me of how far I still have to go. 

 

**Journal Log Nov 10**

Objectives:  
1) Tell Steve what I want.

Obstacles:  
-I am still not the Bucky he knew. I will never be the Bucky he knew, even if I keep getting better.  
-I had to find some time to talk to Steve alone. Therefore, I had to trick Stark into postponing his Star Trek marathon designed to educate Steve and myself.

Status:  
-I told Steve that we should be together again. Steve cried but he said he was crying in happiness.  
-Steve kissed me and I didn’t run away.  
-Steve still has very soft lips.  
-We kissed again later in the kitchen. Tony and Sam walked in and saw us. Neither appeared to want to fight me for him. They smiled and said they were happy for us, and they appeared to be genuine.

I like Tony and Sam.


End file.
